Oh, for a beaker 1/4-full of the warm south…

October 30th, 2010

It seems to me that beverage manufacturers have cottoned on to how profitable homeopathy can be.

Bottled drinks seem increasingly to be pure water with hints of flavour or claims of added vitamins. And the more dilute they are, the more they cost. Isn’t it wonderful that the language provides us with positive words like ‘purity’, indicating the absence of anything else? A marketer’s dream…

[Aside: I had a drink today which boasted about its levels of antioxidants. People should know by now that antioxidants are not necessarily a good thing...]

Anyway, I sometimes wonder if you could take it to extremes and leave out the water?

I think I’ll try that. I’m going to start a company which sells vacuums in little containers. It won’t be a total vacuum, of course, because we know nature abhors that, and it must, of course, be Natural. It’ll be a vacuum which echoes the purity of the outer edges of Earth’s atmosphere. There’ll be a few oxygen and nitrogen molecules in there, just the way nature intended…

You can take it home, open it up and release a little bit of outer space into your room. Breath deeply, focus on your inner energies, and meditate on starlight…

Posted on Saturday, October 30th, 2010 at 3:57 pm and filed under General.

3 Responses to “Oh, for a beaker 1/4-full of the warm south…”

  1. Matthew Says:

    Don’t forget that it must be a small bottle. The smaller the bottle, the more valuable it must be right?

  2. qsf Says:

    Ah yes, that works for perfumes, I believe. Though I think smaller bottles are generally more concentrated in that case. They obviously haven’t caught on to this trend yet!

  3. Jason Young Says:

    Suggest sequentially numbering each bottle in a font that looks like handwritting. Don’t forget to affix a label showing the award the product has won.

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